I’m about to go all emo on you, so if you don’t want to read about the depths of a young single woman’s heart, don’t continue to read. I just need to blog it out.
I warned you.
Lately I’ve been thinking a LOT about marriage. I feel like the Lord has prepared my heart to be the heart of a wife and a mother. In fact, I can’t really think of many things that I desire more than that. Yet, here I am single. I know that 21 is a very young age, and that I “don’t need to be worried about getting married”, yadda yadda yah. But I feel like it’s a part of me already, that I’m going to be those things, even though I’m no where close to getting married (I don’t have a ring on my finger, nevertheless a guy on my arm).
I find a lot of comfort in 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul points out that the different between a married person and an unmarried person is that the married person is not only working to fulfull the desires of God, but their spouse:
32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
I hear a lot that God is preparing a husband for me, but I think more now that God is preparing me to be a wife to somebody. As much as I think my desires are undistractingly for the Lord (yes I made that word up), I am constantly humbled and shown that I still care a lot for the world. I know this will be a constant struggle for the rest of my life (hence why my life verse is Mark 8:36). I know that the Lord will bring a me to a man when he finds that my heart can handle balancing the desires for the Kingdom and for my husband…not that the two are completely seperated, but let’s be honest marriages are hard and distracting from God even if you’re a saint. I mean, Paul said so right there in the Bible (take that as hard evidence!)
Anyway, as discouraged as I am watching my friends get married or in relationships…I remind myself that ultimately my life is to honor and glorify the LORD. If it’s his will (and I feel it is) it will happen, in His time.
Please just let it be before I graduate in a year.
I mean whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? ;)
I told you this would be girly.