I have fallen.

I admit it.

I have inherited the apathy of my culture.

I’ve been lazy.

 

I suppose it has happened over time. It’s generally not something that happens overnight.

I think Bible college has something to do with it.

So does my called profession.

 

I got lazy somewhere along the way: confusing exegeting for a Sunday morning with my personal quiet time; mixing up praying with students and praying for students; leading people to God and letting God lead me to Him.

 

I know we all get to this point…so I am encouraged.

I’ve known this for a very long time, I’ve acknowledged it; I have even prayed for forgiveness countless times and “vowed” this would be the last time.

But.

It wasn’t.

It won’t be.

 

I’m so thankful for a God who does not see my deeds, but my heart. My heart does yearn for him, but I have been lazy with it.

 

When I got serious about my relationship with God, it was for my calling to ministry. But now that I’m out of college and out of teaching three times a week at a church, I need to rediscover a relationship with God outside of ministry.

I’m pretty sure Martha Stewart takes time to cook outside of her shows, and I’m pretty sure that P. Diddy raps even when not in rehearsal, and I’m pretty sure that Jeff Gordon races his car down the highway (who doesn’t?).

So I’m pretty sure that God, who I love more than Martha loves cooking, is worth time outside of ministry.

I need to relearn what that looks like.

 

I decided that next year, I am going to go through the book “Celebration of Discipline” and concentrate on a new discipline every month, slowly re-incorporating them into my every day life. January: Meditation.  I will re-figure this out.

 

No, I don’t think I’m in spiritual danger.

Yes, I want a deeper relationship with God.

No, I’m not taking a hiatus from ministry.

Yes, I will study the Bible outside of when I have to teach it.

 

I encourage you to take this journey with me.