Reflections of 2010

January–I opened this blog. I had blogs before, but I vowed to be consistent with this one!  My 20th birthday was in January, which I spent alone.  I took a Pre-Marital counseling class during Jan-Term, got to strengthen my relationship with a few people, and also got to see the true character of a particular person. I ended a friendship with a manipulative person, who still finds ways to make me miserable.  I got to spend a lot of time by myself, which is actually a good thing. I got a lot of time to think!

February–A pretty chill month. Don’t think I learned any major lessons, didn’t really do much.  I don’t get all weird-obsessed over Valentine’s Day, so it was just a normal, apathetic month!  There was a dance for all us “single” people at a friend’s house, and I loved it!!  My closest girls and I went to Olive Garden, which was also pretty hilarious.

March–This was probably the hardest month of the year.  I had a fight with my mom and didn’t talk to her throughout this month, my grandpa was in and out of the hospital and began to die, one of my roommates attempted suicide, I had to quit my job because of my boss, I began having terrible migraines, I was stood up during spring break by my best friend, I had a fight with my mentor, applied for RA which I thought I was going to get with all my heart and then didn’t, my Facebook page for my business was deleted, and a woman moved in with my father. All in the same month! Actually, most of this was in the first two weeks! I had a lot of blows to the face, and throughout it all kind of just trusted that it would all pass.  I also had the opportunity to do a DNow–something I didn’t really want to do but in the end blessed me.

AprilSoulForce came and changed my life.  I don’t feel like re-capping that whole experience, so you can click the link.  I was dealing with the repercussions of everything that went on in March, so it was a month of dealing and learning.
May–My grandpa died, and the whole experience was tough.  I finished the end of my sophomore year, and had a smoothie party to celebrate!  I also had a huge fight with my home pastor, who was preaching heresy and I was convicted to approach him and talk with him about his lack of presenting scripture.  He told me that if I wanted more scripture in my sermons, to find another church. So I vowed not to go back.  Very hard decision, considering I had gone there for 13 years (and saw it go through a lot of things and stood by it).
June-August–I grouped these together because I did one thing: Intern.  I interned at an amazing church where I got to really see a large community after God’s heart.  I worked with some amazing girls that were eager to have me in their life, as well as a few girls who decided before they ever met me to not like me, and spread their dislike to other girls.  With girls, there’s always drama, but there’s always those moments of fun and of serious conversations that I will never trade for anything.  I learned a lot about myself and got to understand a little more what ministry is about.  God showed to me how faithful he is to me, even when I have nothing to bring to our relationship.  I got to go to Tennessee and Kentucky, adding two more states to my very short list of states I’ve gone to.  I also go to go to a Cardinals @ Royals game in KC! And alas, I started school again, armed with knowledge and NOT the desire to learn.  I learned that I was beautiful too :)

September–After a summer of full-time minstry, I found it impossible to just get back into the normal school schedule.  A group of friends and I were all very bummed, because we just spent the summer doing nothing by serving God, and now we had to go back to school.  I was determined not to let myself just sit there, so I began applying at different churches and scored a position at the church I now serve at as Youth Minister! Crazy.
October–I started ministry here.  It was a month of learning to adjust, getting my socks blessed off, but learning SO much.  I began to become genuinely happy.  Honestly.  Nothing has ever fulfilled me so much than working with youth. :)  I also didn’t trick-or-treat for the first time in my life! Which is crazy because I LOVE Halloween.  My costume was a Campbell soup can! :)
November–Bowling, Hand Turkeys, SO MUCH! There was just so much going on.  A good friend of mine from high school died a very tragic death, and that was really difficult to see. I blogged a LOT that much, because I was consistently learning new lessons.  I think that I was really vulnerable with my readers that month.
December–I was overwhelmed, but I had a great month! I had a lot of parties going on that I had to plan or attend.  I got to plan a Christmas program for the youth, which turned out good!  I went home and learned that it wasn’t my home anymore.  Christmas was the worst yet, but I’m okay about it.  It’s weird, really.  I learned a lot of lessons this month, and I’m still learning.  And at night on Dec. 31st, I found out the cat that I’ve had for 10 years passed away. This hit me hard; he was seriously my bestest friend and only friend for a long time! So I’m now dealing with that.
What does 2011 have in store for me?
Well, I turn 21!  So that will be a challenge in itself.  I will be planning a lot of things for my youth.  I will be beginning a new job in the game room.  I will be having my own room in a house with 4 other girls!  I am going to eat healthier, now that I don’t rely on a cafeteria.  Do I have an resolutions? Not really.  But I want to vow to let God use me in whatever way possible, and not to hinder it. (As I type that, I’m realizing that what that may entail, I may not like and that scares me).  I really just want to grow.  2010 was a year of extreme growth for me, as I learned a lot of truths about who I am.  I want next year to be even crazier, I want to learn even more.  And if that means that I have to go through a lot of junk in the process, I am okay with that.

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