Her beauty is her Godliness, and she ain’t gotta flaunt it ’cause it’s obvious!
Those are words from Lecrae’s song “Identity”. I heard these words the other day and thought about it for the first time…how perfect to describe what I’ve been feeling lately! I’ll explain :)
I never really thought of myself as beautiful, but I always knew I wasn’t ugly, even though the world told me different. I was the white girl, the fat girl, the nerdy girl, the unfashionable girl, etc etc. Everybody can relate to this on some level. We grow up watching commercials that tell us we need something more to make us look truly beautiful. Our friends talk about losing weight (or gaining it) all the time. And we feel self-conscious. I think the meanest thing ever done to me (I have never shared this before) was my senior year in high school. We were picking people for Senior Superlatives and this joker thought it would be funny to put my name down for Best Physique and told everyone to do it. Although I didn’t win, and a lot of people told him he was an idiot, I still felt horrible. Ugh. And so I went through life knowing that I don’t fit in to this world’s standards.
I wish someone would have told me sooner that my identity wasn’t in this world, but in Christ. When I got to college this Truth was slowly revealed to me. I learned more and more who Christ was, which made me love Him more and more, and then I found out that my identity was in Him. I realized how beautiful of a creature I was, how unique I was, and how much God loved me. I wasn’t entirely convinced, because I was like, “Well God feels this way about EVERYONE, so I’m not really THAT special.” But I closed my eyes and believed anyway. Thank you Psalm 139.
As I fell more in love with my Savior and my God, I fell in love with myself (not in a conceited way!). I became more confident, and more outgoing. It was easy at SBU to really be myself, because the students and faculty want that very thing from everyone.
I noticed something changing. I was told quite often that I was beautiful. At first I thought people did that to be nice, or because they tell everyone that. But I started receiving unique compliments, or people would tell me privately the growth they have seen in me, and other amazing things. I was being affirmed and encouraged constantly. But I would look in the mirror and say “Why?” There is nothing unique about me–I have a pretty large rear, that’s pretty much it, hah! And I knew that something had changed, it had to! Because it wasn’t just other Christian’s perspectives of me, it was even worldly people who told me that I was beautiful in a non-creepy non-hitting on way. Some of the most beautiful people to me are people who love Christ so much. There is something about them that you just can’t get past! (Kinda reminds me of how in high school, I’d see a guy pray or raise his hands in worship and I would think, “He’s hot!!!”) But seriously, there is this glow and ray of confidence. I can’t quite explain it, but it’s true.
So why am I beautiful? I honestly couldn’t tell you. But I see a direct correlation between the love I have for my Savior and my being beautiful. Yes! I don’t need a slamming body to be beautiful! I don’t need all the latest clothes. I don’t even need to wear makeup sometimes. My beauty is my Godliness…………………imagine when we are in Heaven…..:)